Praying in the Shed

In my shed I have an icon, a candle, a stoop bowl. Every night before i go to bed i go out and sit for a while and talk/pray. While i ask question - i am still looking for the face of God. I also feel more at peace than i have for a long time. As much as a wrestle with questions i dont belive they will overcome me - but i will keep blogging my search for answers.


Today i meet with a friend i trained with and it was lovely. He sat with me and said - but you are meant to be a priest - its who you are. We talked through some of my questions and i was forced to admit that i am not sure right now if my question are there because i dont want to belive and not be able to stand at the alter or because they are question burried deep inside me that are bubbling up.  


I will keep asking - but will keep praying to.