There is a hole in my shoe dear liza..

Today I 'signed on' for the first time in some twelve years. the experience itself was fairly painless, however it didn't do my ego much good. However, there is a hole in my shoe, and i cant afford new ones. I find myself with a constantly soggy foot, which really isn't a pleasant sensation.  Even with the money i will get from the benefits agency, i will still struggle to find money to repair my shoe, its all a bit of a worry really.

to make life really difficult Housing Benefit is not paid if living with a relative. We are living with my parents, renting from them at £500 a calendar month. Unfortunately they can not afford to house us without rent, and so we will have to be put on the emergency housing list, and as such will probably be housed separately. My wife, and baby will be put up in a bed breakfast while i will be offered a park bench on which to sleep. The cost of the bed and breakfast? Yes, you guessed it..more than that £500 a month rent. It feels very dark right now. I am phoning the council again tomorrow morning to see if a better resolution can be found, but admit that i dont hold out much hope within the system. It seems I may soon be officially homeless.

Pending the benefits claim we are living on money i have made by selling books.

The job market is not good right now, although i was amused to see there is indeed a category for clerical - yes indeed, you can apply for a job as a vicar through you local job centre. I indicated at the job centre that i would be happy to take temporary work  - but was warned that doing so for anything over 16 hours a week would result in my claim being stopped and me needing to reclaim. A weeks work, would result in a weeks pay, followed by sorting out a new claim, and the inevitable delays and time without money and so i have been advised to avoid temporary work which seems frankly ridiculous by any measure of common sense.

It is the tornados 1st birthday on Thursday. I am aware that what a child needs is love not presents, and in honesty i wouldn't want to run out and spend £40 on tat, however, I confess, i don't feel good about the security i can offer her right now.

some time ago i looked at joining the third order (fransicans) but decided that the local group wasn't for me. I may well still explore other orders. They all contain a vow of poverty in some shape or other - maybe i should be giving thanks that this is being thrust upon me and the family.